What to do when you are fighting with your spouse?
Talking it over
- Choose an appropriate time to talk.
- Try to start the discussion amicably.
- Use ‘I’ statements, not ‘you’ statements.
- Try to see things from your partner’s perspective.
- And remember: you may not just be arguing the surface problem.
- Keep tabs on physical feelings.
- Be prepared to compromise.
How do I get my partner to continue to share feelings?
If you want your partner to continue to share on a deep level, it is important not to get irritated or defensive about the feeling expressed to you. Likewise, rejecting a feeling is rejecting the person feeling it. Do not say things like “Don’t worry, be happy” or “You shouldn’t feel that way.” Doing so invalidates how the other person feels.
How can I help my spouse overcome fear of being alone?
Consider meeting with a counselor to work on any emotional walls you’ve put up, such as the fear of being alone, failing in marriage or resentment. Station yourself as a “sentry” to protect your spouse. The message you want to convey is something like this: I understand there is a wall between us because you feel unsafe.
What should I do if my partner doesn’t feel the same?
If you want your partner to continue to share on a deep level, it is important not to get irritated or defensive about the feeling expressed to you. Likewise, rejecting a feeling is rejecting the person feeling it. Do not say things like “Don’t worry, be happy” or “You shouldn’t feel that way.”
How can I make my partner feel more comfortable with Me?
Share your deeper underlying feeling, not just the surface feeling. You might be expressing anger but underneath feel hurt or embarrassed. This is much more crucial to express to your partner to develop closeness and intimacy. Practice helps. If you are not someone who is used to expressing feelings,…