How does an adoptee feel?
Whether subconsciously or consciously, adult adoptees feel anger towards their birth parents. The parents who couldn’t raise them. Adoptees are angry that they find it difficult to articulate their feelings. Angry that they do not know their truth or identity.
What do you say when someone tells you they are adopted?
- Congratulate them! Be genuinely thrilled for them Tell them, “Congrats!
- Be supportive.
- Acknowledge their struggle.
- Tell them funny parenting stories if you have them.
- Act just like you would if they were pregnant and expecting.
- Be positive.
- Ask if they need help.
- Inquire about how they are feeling.
How do you deal with an adult child who resents you?
Your adult child resents the way you parented them. Here’s how to handle it. This 8-step process will help you get through the conversation and build a better relationship with your grown children. Fight the desire to explain why you may have done something, and instead focus on validating your child’s feelings.
Why does it take so long to confront parents about resentments?
“It often takes clients a long time to confront parents with those resentments, either because they don’t expect to be understood or because they don’t want to hurt their parents. Either way, the more open and non-defensive you can listen, the better.”
Why does my child’s emotional reaction seem incongruent with the actual interaction?
This is why their emotional reaction may seem incongruent with the intensity of the actual interaction. They’re not the adult sitting in front of you during the present discussion, they are experiencing the feelings and using the logic of the child they were when the incident occurred.
Are You repeating the same patterns we did as children?
We may find ourselves repeating the same patterns we did when they were children. For example, a parent may fall into the role of a martyr or savior, and constantly step in to help their adult child out of situations they have gotten themselves into.